Relationships are fun and exciting; and they are also a lot of hard work. There is never a time when either party can stop working hard to prove to the other that they are loved. Additionally, because relationships are a two way street, you both have to work to ensure that yours is healthy and long-lasting.
Unfortunately, not all couples remember this until it’s too late. If your wife is considering divorce, and you don’t want to lose her, you have five steps to change her mind.
My Wife Wants a Divorce Step 1: Start Listening
If your wife is even considering divorce as an option, something in your relationship is obviously wrong. Now is the time to really start listening to what your wife wants. Chances are, she’s made an effort to tell you that things were not working for her, and she’s given you the opportunity to change.
If you haven’t changed, or you never really took her seriously, it might be too late unless you can convince her that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy. The first step is to really listen to her when she tells you what’s in her heart.
Step 2: Take Action
Now that you know how she really feels, it’s time to take action. Take everything she said, and make it better. If you’ve been working too much and not spending enough time with her, make it a habit to leave the office at a set time each night. Inform her of this time and be home at a reasonable hour.
If she doesn’t think you help out around the house enough, take initiative to clean up after dinner, fold the laundry, and help the kids get ready for bed. Make it a habit. What is hurting her is likely something you can change, and that means you need to start changing it right now.
Step 3: Ask For Help
Sometimes it takes more than just changing your hours or helpfulness around the house; sometimes you need professional help. There is no shame in suggesting marriage counseling to your wife. It shows her that you are committed to making it work, to seeking help.
Counseling is a great way to work through your problems without turning them into arguments and fights every night of the week. A counselor will help you to recognize the issues in your marriage and provide you with a safe outlet for working through your issues.
Watch this Michele Weiner Davis Q&A, She talks about what to do when your wife wants a divorce:
Step 4: Be Patient
Your wife may agree to give you one more chance before she files for divorce, but you also have to understand that things will not go back to normal right away. You have to be patient with your wife and with your marriage. You have to continuously work hard to make the necessary changes to your marriage that your wife is asking you to make, and you have to be patient with her if she doesn’t seem overly thrilled at first. She may be scared to open herself up to you and let things go back to normal for fear that they will just go back to being bad again.
Step 5: Never Stop Showing Her You Love Her
The most important thing you can do if you want to change your wife’s mind about divorce is to continuously show her how much you love her. You have to do this by listening to her, catering to her needs, showing her she’s important, and making sure she knows how you feel every day. Talk to her when you have an issue, and tell her you expect the same from her. Communication is the key to a successful marriage.
There is no set way to save a marriage from divorce, but there are ways to stop it. While not all of the five steps here may apply to your personal situation, some of them might; and those are the ones you should implement to help change her mind about divorce. To make your marriage the best that it can be, you need to always remember to be honest with one another, treat each other with respect, and communicated with one another on a regular basis to save your marriage from heading for divorce.